Not so long ago the notion of “loving yourself” was met with raised eye brows and derision. While the concept has become far more accepted however, most people still struggle to really value and care for themselves.
In fact, if you were to tune into the average inner monologue you’d soon realise it was a non stop stream of belittling, shame and nastiness.
“You’re such an idiot”.
A merciless cycle of put downs and condescension people would never subject someone else to. Yet they’re so used to hearing it they don’t think to change the channel.
It shouldn’t be like this!
While it might sound cliche we really should love ourselves and we absolutely need to be our own best friend.
At a very basic level how can you possibly expect other people to value you for yourself if you are unable to? If you are subjecting yourself to constant abuse there is no way that you can be the best version of you.
Imagine a person standing in the middle of a room surrounded by people telling them the kind of things women (and men) commonly say to themselves. Ugly, stupid, worthless, foolish, lazy… would you expect them to feel like empowered, worthwhile individuals? Of course not.
The same logic applies. You cannot subject yourself to abuse and expect to emerge unharmed. The things you say in your head may not be heard by anyone else, but they will have the biggest impact on your wellbeing. Why? Because your brain believes what you tell it. Not only that, it will seek out to prove you right, and if you tell yourself things often enough that will become your reality.
Bottom line, if you want any hope of being a happy, contented and healthy individual you have to be your own best friend. That means if you wouldn’t say something to your dearest girlfriend then you absolutely should not say it to yourself.
And the beauty of cultivating a friendship with yourself is that you will always have a personal champion wherever you go. You will never be alone. You will never be unloved.
So if you make one commitment, make a commitment to love yourself. Be kind, be compassionate, be gentle.